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Have you ever spent money just to prove someone wrong? My ego gets the best of me all the time and I spend money just to prove people wrong. You will be surprised to know that I not just talking about making bets, I’m talking about the way I look. Often being African-American, or black, cause people to think that I can’t afford something or I don’t tip well. Because of those things, I find myself being a big tipper and buying things I don’t need just to prove to people I am not their stereotype.

If you are unfamiliar with the stereotype I am referring to, the stereotype that black people are cheap. Not only cheap but that we steal. These stereotypes are laughable since black people SPEND over $1 TRILLION per year…I wonder if there are other black people like me trying to prove the stereotype wrong too….hmmmmm.

The Waitress Eyeroll

As I’m sitting at a table with my husband, I have been known to get “the waitress eyeroll” when they see us seated in their section. This eyeroll signifies “great, they won’t tip me” or even worse “they won’t pay the bill!” Now I understand that these things happened in the past (regardless of race), but I don’t do that. So my ego gets the best of me and I overtip the server just to prove a point.

My point is that not all people of color are bad tippers so I give pretty good tips (around 25%) to stroke my ego and prove them wrong.

Sorry, Can’t Help You

This one gets my ego the most!  Often I get ignored by salespeople because I don’t look like the type to buy anything. They walk by us, around us, and even between us before saying hi. I often have to track a salesperson down…YES, TRACK THEM DOWN…and inform them that I want to make a purchase. When they see that we are serious, we magically have their undivided attention. Where was this attention when you walked past us to greet the white, rich looking couple? And once again, I find myself spending money to prove a point.

Let Me Show You Something I THINK You Can Afford

When I walk into a car dealership or furniture store, if I am not being overlooked, the first place they take me is to the cheap items. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to be frugal and there is nothing wrong with cheap (as long as it is in good condition) but it is often assumed that I have no money. I mean, yes, I want the cheap item, but you didn’t know that when I walked in the door. Their assumptions lead me buying a more expensive item.  And the look on their face when I decline their financing plans is priceless! (I like to pay cash when I can.) That look alone is almost worth paying the extra money to stroke my ego.

Moral of this story, just like many others, don’t judge a book by its cover. I am a successful black woman that wants to be treated like anyone else who would walk in your store. You might be wondering, “why not walk away?” or “don’t give them your business!” Many times, I have walked away or left a business because of these stereotypes but then I think, what about the next black couple behind us, what about my daughter and what she might experience in the future? If I can change the waiter/waitress’ or sales person’s mind about this obnoxious stereotype, maybe their view of the next black customer will change.

Has there been a situation where your ego has cost you money? If so, how did you handle it?